


The Blue Spirit (And Chaos)

by 13Jacobinstintite



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang swears, But I wasn't, Crack, FUCK TIMELINES BE A TURTLEDUCK AND PHOTOSYNTHESIZE, Humor as a coping mechanism, I apologize for my writing skills, I don't actually know what went down at Pohuai, I fucking love these kids, I know strange, I should have edited, I should have edited this oh god, I swear I'm drinking water, I wish I could say I was drunk when I wrote this, I wouldn't do that to her, It's Zuko's Fault, Katara still kind of hates him but she's not completely terrible, Mentioned Ozai (Avatar), My First Fanfic, My First Work in This Fandom, Please Don't Kill Me, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Toph Beifong and Zuko are Siblings, Unedited We Die Like Men, Zhao (Avatar) Is An Asshole, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko and Aang use humor to cope with their trauma, Zuko can communicate, Zuko literally uses the fact that Gyatso is dead as a comeback, all I can think of is the goddamn intense background music during this scene it's cracking me up, and Aang tells him his nation did it so he needs to fix it, but am I going to? no, can we talk about that, do i care? no, everyone's low key out of character, im figuring it out though, im sorry, it's saying that sassily isn't a word, okay but how the fuck did Zuko manage to chain a man to a ceiling in like .5 seconds, should I care? probably, so if it isn't I'm making it one, somewhat?, the point I want to make in this story is Zuko is fucking hilarious when he uses humor to cope, this is literal crack, this is top tier humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:27:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26866621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/13Jacobinstintite/pseuds/13Jacobinstintite
Summary: Zuko's been trained in this stuff, why is it such a big deal that he can take down four guys with ease?Aka:The Gaang finds out about what happened in the Pohuai Stronghold with a lot of unnecessary interruptions.
Relationships: Aang & Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Zuko
Comments: 30
Kudos: 396





	The Blue Spirit (And Chaos)

"Oh, Zuko, I never actually found out how you got into the stronghold to get me!" Aang says. Zuko blinks slowly for a moment, glancing up at the sky as he chews his food. "I... It was painfully easy. I just beat up a couple of people. It was nice not to have to firebend. Though you did crack my ribs."

"I _what?"_ Aang parrots, clearly horrified. Zuko waves him off. "Don't worry, they healed in like a month, nobody cares."

"Wait, what stronghold?" Sokka demands. "Also, when did you... crack your ribs?"

Zuko stares at him for a long time before glancing at Aang, unimpressed. "Really?"

"What was I supposed to say?" Aang says, throwing his hands up. "'Oh, just telling you guys, I kind of got imprisoned while you were sick and Zuko saved me by threatening to slit my throat and also threw fire at me after I asked if we could be friends, but hey, at least he saved me!'"

"That's exactly what you were supposed to say. Aren't they your friends?"

"I didn't want them to think you were an even worse person. You weren't. You just ignored your daddy issues."

"And where's Gyatso, huh Aang?"

"You can't use that on me, your nation killed them. Fix it."

"It might’ve been my nation, but it was under Sozin’s command, go tell him to fix it.”

“You’re gonna be Firelord, you fix it.”

“You little-”

"Wait, you got imprisoned while we were sick?" Katara says. "Why didn't you say anything?" she whirls around to Zuko, glaring as harshly as possible. "And why did you threaten to slit his throat?"

"In my defense, that was when I still saw my father's abuse as love."

Toph snorts out her soup.

"He was bluffing when he threatened to slit my throat!" Aang hollers to try to get control of the situation. "Zhao just said he needed the Avatar alive and Zuko held his swords against my neck and led me out in a bluff that he was going to hurt me."

"Were you?" Katara scowls. He sighs heavily. "At the time, I was taking him for my own, but an arrow knocked me out and he chose to save me. We were in the woods, he asked if we could be friends, again, still thought my dad was chill, threw some sparks and he flew away."

"I can't believe you ever thought your dad was chill," Toph chortles. Zuko shrugs. "I can't believe you never ran away before this."

"Okay, listen here, motherfucker-"

"Aang's virgin ears," Sokka hisses, jumping over to cover them, "should be kept virgin. He doesn't need to know those words."

"He's going to see my father, he'll learn about them either way," Zuko deadpans. "He swears twice as much as I do. I don't know if that's just a Fire Nation thing. Either way, it's an unnecessary way of speaking."

"You're Fire Nation."

"You got me there."

"You're avoiding the point!" Aang screeches, prying Sokka's hands away from his ears. He points his glider dramatically at Zuko. "Ladies and gentlemen, the very Prince Zuko that stands before you is also known as the vigilante Blue Spirit!"

"Thank you, thank you," Zuko stands up with exaggerated bows. He receives thunderous applause from Toph and Suki who giggle, and a dropped jaw from the Water Tribe Siblings.

"You're... _you're_ the Blue Spirit?" Sokka breathes. "Oh my god, I fangirled about you! _In front of you!"_

"Yes, I'm well aware," Zuko replies. "The compliments were flattering."

"Wait, but you were wanted by the Fire Nation," Katara says. "Why did they-? Oh. The stronghold."

Zuko grimaces. "Yeah. I was kinda hoping not to be seen, but then some brat ran his little ass off about what, frozen frogs?"

"Hey, those frozen frogs saved their asses!"

"Stop teaching him swear words!" Sokka yells. Zuko throws his hands up. "He's going to fight the fucking Firelord! That piece of shit is going to say _something_ to his ass other than civil!"

"Okay, hold on, back to the stronghold. What was even the name of this place?" Katara says. Zuko and Aang meet grim glances.

"Pohuai Stronghold."

"Okay. Care to explain what happened there?" Sokka prods. Zuko runs a hand down his face. "Can we just say-"

"If you're going to say 'shit hit the fan,' no, you can't. Or anything relating to making a summary with swear words."

"So 'absolute fuckery' doesn't count, I'm guessing."

"You've guessed correctly."

"What about-"

"Sparky, just tell them."

"Why are you telling me like you already know the shit that went down?"

"Because I want to hear this! Now shut up and start talking!"

"That doesn't even make any-"

Aang flicks his hand and Zuko yelps as the air slices across his cheek. He gapes. "Did you just fucking cut me?"

"Did I stutter?"

Suki and Sokka roar with laughter to Zuko's dismay. Katara looks smug. "Come on, your highness. What'd you do that was so bad?"

"More like badass," Aang interjects again. "Did you know about the archers that guard it? They can shoot things from several miles away and never miss their mark. That's how they knocked Zuko out in the end. I had to save him."

"You say that like you regret it."

"Your family issues are overwhelming."

"You two need to get your shit straight," Toph says. She pauses. "Actually, let me rephrase that, you need to get your shit wiggly but not wiggly if you get what I'm saying."

"Oh, is straight a swear word now?" Suki asks. Everyone shrugs. Zuko then quirks his lips. "Fine. I broke in through the sewers after hiding in a cart. The guards were all distracted by some bullshit Zhao was spewing. Then I got past the guards and freed Aang, and-"

"What exactly did you do to the guards?" Sokka says curiously. "I'm just dying to know."

"I... can't tell whether you're being sarcastic or not."

"Oh, for the love of your dysfunctional social skills," Toph mutters. "He's not being sarcastic but he is in a way because he was expecting you'd tell us how you took them down anyway."

"Why do you even want to know? It was just a few. Nothing impressive."

_"Zuko."_

He opens his mouth to retaliate again, but Aang bristles his glider in warning of another cut.

"Fine. I rolled out a soldier helmet to lure them in. At first there was only one and I threw him off by firebending and chained and gagged him. Then I hid on the ceiling for the others to come and did the same. There were two. And the last dude tried to blow the horn. I managed to get it with a knife and knock him out but it was such a fucking close call. I fucking hate Zhao," he spits.

"The guards weren't Zhao though?"

"Did I stutter?"

"You did not just-"

 _"What happened next?"_ Katara says. Aang scowls at being cut off. "We tried to climb the wall-"

"After this idiot wouldn't shut up!" Zuko cuts in. "He was screaming about his frozen frogs every single second!"

"Now you know how I feel about you and your honor."

"...Touché."

"If you say one more word that isn't related to how you escaped and was a badass, I'm gonna throw some hands," Toph announces. Zuko rolls his eyes. "Shut your fuck, Beifong. But I shall still accommodate your wishes or whatever."

"See that? That's how siblings are done. Fuck y'all Water Tribe peasants."

They look so genuinely offended that Zuko has to laugh.

"Okay, okay, Toph's right though, we should finish this story today," Aang says. "I'm not going into detail for the specific reason that it was literally just fighting through guys after some jerk cut the rope we were climbing up. And I said 'stay close to me,' but do you wanna guess what Zuko did?"

"After everything, this is what you chose to focus on?" Zuko says, rolling his eyes. "You left me behind in the gates!"

"I came back and launched you over the wall!"

"Yeah! How do you think I landed?"

Aang's confusion is suddenly washed over by just a blank face. "Oh, shit."

"Aang!" Sokka and Katara gasp. Zuko ignores them.

"You don't get to 'oh, shit' me, Aang. I really thought I'd be landing softly on that wall. But no. You just dropped me."

"I mean, if we're talking about it this way, I did fly away with you right after that."

It's dead silent for a moment, and then Aang's mouth opens again, this time in an 'o' shape. "We fell after that."

"There you go."

"Didn't you like... throw a guy over the wall after that?"

"You _what?"_ Katara nearly shrieks. The prince puts his hands up in mock surrender. "I saved your boyfriend. I needed the dude's sword. Also, do you really think your ice keep people frozen for two minutes?"

"Continue."

"Right. So we had landed on another wall and as soon as we hit, soldiers were still coming left and right. It was actually after they started running when I threw the guy off. Aang blasted most of them away, but more were coming with ladders. So we cut them off at the top and this kid literally uses them as giant ass stilts to get across the courtyard. Then some bitch sets them on fire and we jump off and fall off the roof because he fucking _slipped-"_

"I'm telling you, I didn't have greasy fingers, you're just heavy!" Aang snaps. Zuko nods, impassive. "Yeah, yeah, anyways, Zhao and his bigass ego walks over with his crusty, musty, turnip-root chin looking ass and says that Aang needs to be captured alive since these jackasses immediately start firebending when we land. So me, being the rational kidnapper I am, take my swords and put him in a choke hold with them. Zhao's pissed, but he's knows what I'm saying and opens the gates."

He points to his forehead in rage. "And then the motherfucker hits me in the forehead with a fucking arrow and knocks me out!"

"Yeah, you were a bit dumb to forget about them," Aang says. "After I found out what it was known for, I figured if I ever kidnapped someone, I'd be watching out for them."

"You're also the Avatar. You always think about shit like that."

"You mean I'm intelligent unlike you."

"I mean you're a fucking bitch."

"Girls, girls, you're both stupid, can we just get on with this? I'd like to sleep," Suki says. Zuko snorts. "Yeah, call Sokka fucking you in the ass sleep, sure."

" _OKAY_ , we're not going there," Sokka interrupts. "We're... never going there. I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth again."

"You just let me in on your biggest weakness. Fool."

"I-"

"After he got knocked out, I saw the side of his mask and scar and my curiosity got the best of me so I just blew up dust around me so they didn't see him and took it off. And then I ran to the forest and waited for him to wake up. He seemed pretty out of it at first, and I thought it was going fine, but I guess he was oh-so traumatized about having friends," Aang mocks. Zuko flips him off while tucking an imaginary strand of hair behind his ear sassily. "I shot fire at you, get over yourself, it wasn't even that hot. Why didn't you leave me there?"

"I did at first. But you looked just _so_ pathetic lying there that I had to save you."

"You should've left him," Katara says, popping another piece of fruit into her mouth. Zuko blinks and the rest of the bowl turns to ash. She looks up in outrage when Sokka jumps in.

"Wait, what the hell do you mean? Fire is always hot."

Zuko gives him a strange look. "My breathing technique was terrible back then, so my flames were more of a red. Granted, soldiers don't spend a lot of their training breathing and their flames are still just as lively as Uncle wants me to make them, but they just fight with the power of pure rage." Zuko sounds disgusted as he describes it.

Katara shrugs. "I don't know about that being too far apart from you, Zuko. You do get angry pretty easily."

"It doesn't matter if I'm angry or not, what matters is keeping track of my breathing."

"You're telling me you keep track of your breathing when you're spewing sparks?" Sokka says with a snort. Zuko nods. "That's exactly what's telling you I'm breathing. You can see orange flames coming out of my mouth. People who don't have the right technique will like... set themselves or something else on fire. I mean, I do it sometimes, but I'm getting better."

"Wait a damn minute, is that how the fucking _fountain_ was on fire?" Suki says. "That terrified me. And you played innocent!"

"Okay, then let's try and put this into perspective. 'Hey, Katara, y'know how the fountain was on fire? Yeah, that was me, not Aang. I didn't mean to set the water on fire! I just got too emotional!'"

"Oop."

"Yeah, she would've had a heart-attack," Aang agrees.

"I'm gonna throw a fucking table at your unstable ass," Katara snarls. Aang raises an eyebrow. "Where's the table?"

"Did I stutter?"

"You can't use my own wisdom against me."

"Your _wisdom?"_ Sokka wheezes. Zuko stands up. "Alright, we should go to bed before they have their first fight."

"This isn't our _first!"_ Aang says, pointing his staff at Zuko who smirks. "So you don't deny that-"

"Alright, time for bed everyone," Aang declares. "We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

"I call closest to Zuko!" Toph yells so abruptly that it startles some. They have to duck when Toph launches herself over to cling to Zuko's side. Suki raises her hand. "I call second!"

"I'm third!" Sokka and Aang say quickly before glaring at each other. Zuko points at Sokka. "He said it quicker."

"And I'm last," Katara says. Aang turns to her. "Are you okay not being close to him? Do you want to switch places?"

"The further I am from him, the better."

"Wow, I'm hurt," Zuko says without emotion. "Aang, tell your girlfriend to stop being a crybaby and if she wants to survive until the war, she should be warm."

"Katara, please?" The Avatar begs, puppy dog eyes activated. Katara looks between them, clearly trying to say no. But no one can say no to Aang's puppy dog eyes. They've all tried. Only Toph can deny him with ease, but hearing his begging still sometimes puts her off.

"Alright, fine."

"Yes!" Aang pumps a fist in the air. They lie down on the ground, Zuko's breath of fire and natural heat keeping the team in a blanket of heat.

"Hey, Aang?" Zuko whispers.

"Yeah?" Aang whispers back.

"You still didn't deny it."

"Zuko, shut the fuck up."

All eyes shift to Zuko. His eyebrow twitches at the attention.

"You attack me, you lose your heater."

"Don't think I'll forget this," Sokka growls. "You've corrupted his pure heart."

"I've taught him the ways of the modern world, there's a difference."

"Oi," Toph says. "Stop being gay for two fucking seconds and go to sleep."

"I believe Aang said time for bed, not time for sleep," Suki says. When Sokka looks her way skeptically she rolls her eyes. "There's a clear difference between sleep and bed. Time for bed means it's time to get into bed, but that doesn't mean I have to sleep."

"Fine. Time for sleep,"Aang emphasizes. "Until morning, not the crack-ass of dawn, _your highness."_

When they glance at Zuko again he's smiling at the stars.

"Yeah, I taught him that one."

**Author's Note:**

> HI!  
> I love Zuko and anime, so if you're not into that, shoo.  
> Also HI!


End file.
